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  • Writer's pictureJen

How much of what I am feeling is because of me?

Sometimes we have bad days, today is one of them. You know those type of days where everything just seems to be overwhelming and crushing you down, the ones when you can’t decide if you want to run and hide, yell and scream or just cry. The overall emotional overload. The tail end of a full moon hangover with emotions just magnified.

But the thing is how much of what I am feeling is a result of myself and not due to others. What if some of that emotional turmoil is projected or perceived as a result of someone else and you’re just taking it on? Essentially validating or magnifying your own negative thoughts. Is that a thing, could it be a thing?

When I logically look at my feelings and what it is that is bothering me I can get get to the root of most of it, I know what the underlying patterns and triggers are. Those feelings and negative emotions all have their own box that they belong in that I can quickly sort them into. The notion of disappoint, and shame is where it gets confusing because once others get added into the equation it begins to add a new layer. When someone verbalizes something that you internalize as a negative it changes the dynamic. It’s no longer I feel this way it becomes an everyone feels this way and there for I am not …

But here’s the thing in order for that to matter and effect me I need to care enough about that person to let it in and listen. What we often times are not considering is where is that person coming from in that moment is this comment or statement in fact a negative criticism or a comment that was meant to be helpful. To take it one step even further what is that person’s emotional state like? If their emotional state is compromised and vulnerable in a moment that a comment is made, then is this really even my feeling or is it a projection that I have just made into my own?

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